OCD and depression sinking in

Staying happy these days is pretty hard to do. I hate

the house we live in with a passion. I took CBD and I'm feeling better. The sort of OCD and the depression has lessened. It sucks when both of these kick in at the same time. On one hand I'm freaking out about this house being a total mess and nothing is done after 3 years!! On the other hand I can't make myself do anything to make this place a little better to live in. So I sit here crying while both sides freak out. 

Background story

My family bought this house with my sister and her family. Which is good, I don't mind being in the same house in fact we have been living together for almost all our lives. We get along for the most part and help each other out. 

Our plan was to move into this split level house and make the downstairs into a separate house itself. The downstairs already had a bathroom, living room, 1 bedroom, and a 2 car garage. We wanted to add some bedrooms to the garage and change the existing bedroom into a kitchen, this was right next to the living room and right under the kitchen upstairs. Easy peasy right? 

3 years later we have 3 bedrooms in the garage that are not fully finished. They have heat and electric which is more then we had the other years😀.I am very thankful for this because for 2 years I lived without proper heat or insulation in my bedroom and makeshift kitchen area. Then kids had the existing bedroom at that point so they were fine. It was freezing! We still need flooring and the closets finished though. 

Breaking point

What was to be the kitchen has not been started and this year was my last straw on this whole project. I can't go through another few years of construction! The sacrifice we are making is not worth it any longer. It wearing on us and the kids. Meanwhile what am I doing for a kitchen? I have a tiny area in the garage that already had a sink. We have a fridge in there and some cabinets. I don't have a stove or dishwasher. Cooking is a nightmare with using a million gadgets to cook. But I can use to many because the fuse will pop. This means I get to cook in many areas of the house or run extension cords to our makeshift kitchen.

Do don't know what you have until it's gone. I just want a normal life. To live a normal life. Somewhere that not tore up. Somewhere I'm not embarrassed of. Somewhere I can have people over. Somewhere I can actually unpack at. Most of our stuff is packed up because our of the construction we have to move everything around so much. 

I am now determined to make our last years here better. What was to be the kitchen will now be the dining room. The table arrived last night so tonight we clear out this room. Right now this room holds all our unpacked stuff and construction stuff. We will have more of a normal life if it kills me. Which at this point it just might.